New Year News Isn’t New
by FaErY
It’s nearing the time of resolutions, bubbly and that kiss at midnight (if you’re lucky) – also, for those less engaged with the New Year’s party scene, we near the time of the dreaded (and arguably filler) ‘year in review’ issues of entertainment magazines of all genres. I know I am excited to hear (again) about whose dress was sexiest at which party, which CD I can’t live another year without and, not surprisingly, which games I need to own to be considered a real human being since last January. Really, I do. But while reading the expected January 2004 issue of ‘GameInformer’ I sighted three blurbs of news from the past year that I deem completely worthy of (nothing but) concise criticism.
James Camerons’ ‘Titanic’ did phenomenally well in the box office (and beyond); James Camerons’ long-since cancelled show, ‘Dark Angel’, has a one-woman fan club (me) – and that only applies to the first season. Point being that there comes a time when one should embrace past successes and, well, retire before they screw up royally. Steven Spielberg’s time may have come (and gone, since his studio, DreamWorks, has taken on Tecmo’s ‘Fatal Frame’). I wonder how well this could go and I easily find my answer: ‘Jurassic Park’.
Perhaps the runway scene didn’t look as grim with the release of a line of bikinis inspired by Tecmo’s ‘Dead or Alive: Xtreme Beach Volleyball’. Seriously. I can see the convention cosplay registration now, teeming with girls of all ages and sizes competing for nerd glory (and, surprisingly, not the cover of the SI Swimsuit issue) – and what self-respecting convention veteran hasn’t seen a very hairy and masculine Sailor Moon? Well, cosplayers, add the DoA girls to your contingent of easy-to-do costumes. And I guess the guys (and girls) don’t have to drool over an animated beauty as long as they know their girlfriends’ (and significant others’) size – but I have one question: do they come smaller than a ‘C’ cup? (And how do you suspend jewels so strategically in real life?)
Speaking of drooling over animated beauties, the Gaga Communications’ ‘Devil May Cry’ film project springs to mind. But what is the point of a movie based on the first game which will be fraught with special effects that must be computer-generated, anyhow? The dynamic between Trish and Dante is less than intriguing, unless Danielle Steele is hired on to fudge the relationship a bit. Regardless of this lack of romance, however, one can expect no lack of gratuitous female anatomy. I’d nominate Joaquin Pheonix to play Dante, but he hardly needs more tarnish on his dusty filmography.
Sure, there were other projects and developments from the past year(s) I question heavily – the Nokia N’Gage, anyone? I don’t own one, I never will and I doubt there will be an entire GBA mutiny, therefore I do not worry. It’s not my $299. With the three pieces of news mentioned above, though, I am sure I can’t easily avoid the inevitable. The anime club will make ‘Fatal Frame’ a whole night of fun (most movies starring cute Japanese girls end up being an entire meeting), I will be forced to compete against scantily clad DoA bikini-babes at convention cosplays (while dressed, tastefully, as Lei Fang) and my best friend will drag me to the first available showing of ‘Devil May Cry’, guaranteed.
As for reading the rest of the January issues of the world’s top gaming magazines, no thank you. I like my news new and these promise to be stale and stressful.
Full Version: New Years News Isn't New
QUOTE
New Year News Isn’t New
by FaErY
It’s nearing the time of resolutions, bubbly and that kiss at midnight (if you’re lucky) – also, for those less engaged with the New Year’s party scene, we near the time of the dreaded (and arguably filler) ‘year in review’ issues of entertainment magazines of all genres. I know I am excited to hear (again) about whose dress was sexiest at which party, which CD I can’t live another year without and, not surprisingly, which games I need to own to be considered a real human being since last January. Really, I do. But while reading the expected January 2004 issue of ‘GameInformer’ I sighted three blurbs of news from the past year that I deem completely worthy of (nothing but) concise criticism.
James Camerons’ ‘Titanic’ did phenomenally well in the box office (and beyond); James Camerons’ long-since cancelled show, ‘Dark Angel’, has a one-woman fan club (me) – and that only applies to the first season. Point being that there comes a time when one should embrace past successes and, well, retire before they screw up royally. Steven Spielberg’s time may have come (and gone, since his studio, DreamWorks, has taken on Tecmo’s ‘Fatal Frame’). I wonder how well this could go and I easily find my answer: ‘Jurassic Park’.
Perhaps the runway scene didn’t look as grim with the release of a line of bikinis inspired by Tecmo’s ‘Dead or Alive: Xtreme Beach Volleyball’. Seriously. I can see the convention cosplay registration now, teeming with girls of all ages and sizes competing for nerd glory (and, surprisingly, not the cover of the SI Swimsuit issue) – and what self-respecting convention veteran hasn’t seen a very hairy and masculine Sailor Moon? Well, cosplayers, add the DoA girls to your contingent of easy-to-do costumes. And I guess the guys (and girls) don’t have to drool over an animated beauty as long as they know their girlfriends’ (and significant others’) size – but I have one question: do they come smaller than a ‘C’ cup? (And how do you suspend jewels so strategically in real life?)
Speaking of drooling over animated beauties, the Gaga Communications’ ‘Devil May Cry’ film project springs to mind. But what is the point of a movie based on the first game which will be fraught with special effects that must be computer-generated, anyhow? The dynamic between Trish and Dante is less than intriguing, unless Danielle Steele is hired on to fudge the relationship a bit. Regardless of this lack of romance, however, one can expect no lack of gratuitous female anatomy. I’d nominate Joaquin Pheonix to play Dante, but he hardly needs more tarnish on his dusty filmography.
Sure, there were other projects and developments from the past year(s) I question heavily – the Nokia N’Gage, anyone? I don’t own one, I never will and I doubt there will be an entire GBA mutiny, therefore I do not worry. It’s not my $299. With the three pieces of news mentioned above, though, I am sure I can’t easily avoid the inevitable. The anime club will make ‘Fatal Frame’ a whole night of fun (most movies starring cute Japanese girls end up being an entire meeting), I will be forced to compete against scantily clad DoA bikini-babes at convention cosplays (while dressed, tastefully, as Lei Fang) and my best friend will drag me to the first available showing of ‘Devil May Cry’, guaranteed.
As for reading the rest of the January issues of the world’s top gaming magazines, no thank you. I like my news new and these promise to be stale and stressful.
by FaErY
It’s nearing the time of resolutions, bubbly and that kiss at midnight (if you’re lucky) – also, for those less engaged with the New Year’s party scene, we near the time of the dreaded (and arguably filler) ‘year in review’ issues of entertainment magazines of all genres. I know I am excited to hear (again) about whose dress was sexiest at which party, which CD I can’t live another year without and, not surprisingly, which games I need to own to be considered a real human being since last January. Really, I do. But while reading the expected January 2004 issue of ‘GameInformer’ I sighted three blurbs of news from the past year that I deem completely worthy of (nothing but) concise criticism.
James Camerons’ ‘Titanic’ did phenomenally well in the box office (and beyond); James Camerons’ long-since cancelled show, ‘Dark Angel’, has a one-woman fan club (me) – and that only applies to the first season. Point being that there comes a time when one should embrace past successes and, well, retire before they screw up royally. Steven Spielberg’s time may have come (and gone, since his studio, DreamWorks, has taken on Tecmo’s ‘Fatal Frame’). I wonder how well this could go and I easily find my answer: ‘Jurassic Park’.
Perhaps the runway scene didn’t look as grim with the release of a line of bikinis inspired by Tecmo’s ‘Dead or Alive: Xtreme Beach Volleyball’. Seriously. I can see the convention cosplay registration now, teeming with girls of all ages and sizes competing for nerd glory (and, surprisingly, not the cover of the SI Swimsuit issue) – and what self-respecting convention veteran hasn’t seen a very hairy and masculine Sailor Moon? Well, cosplayers, add the DoA girls to your contingent of easy-to-do costumes. And I guess the guys (and girls) don’t have to drool over an animated beauty as long as they know their girlfriends’ (and significant others’) size – but I have one question: do they come smaller than a ‘C’ cup? (And how do you suspend jewels so strategically in real life?)
Speaking of drooling over animated beauties, the Gaga Communications’ ‘Devil May Cry’ film project springs to mind. But what is the point of a movie based on the first game which will be fraught with special effects that must be computer-generated, anyhow? The dynamic between Trish and Dante is less than intriguing, unless Danielle Steele is hired on to fudge the relationship a bit. Regardless of this lack of romance, however, one can expect no lack of gratuitous female anatomy. I’d nominate Joaquin Pheonix to play Dante, but he hardly needs more tarnish on his dusty filmography.
Sure, there were other projects and developments from the past year(s) I question heavily – the Nokia N’Gage, anyone? I don’t own one, I never will and I doubt there will be an entire GBA mutiny, therefore I do not worry. It’s not my $299. With the three pieces of news mentioned above, though, I am sure I can’t easily avoid the inevitable. The anime club will make ‘Fatal Frame’ a whole night of fun (most movies starring cute Japanese girls end up being an entire meeting), I will be forced to compete against scantily clad DoA bikini-babes at convention cosplays (while dressed, tastefully, as Lei Fang) and my best friend will drag me to the first available showing of ‘Devil May Cry’, guaranteed.
As for reading the rest of the January issues of the world’s top gaming magazines, no thank you. I like my news new and these promise to be stale and stressful.
FaErY you are a very knowleageable person. I can see why they made you part of the Editorial Staff
.
I don't really trust the word of most top game magazines. They're often biased in some way, whether they think they have to tell everybody to play every game, or wether they think they have to find something wrong with every game. For my reviews, I usually just ask my friends or head over to some not-so-well-known rpg sites. Allrpg.com was where I went for a while, and they influenced my descision to get Disgaea, and that's a descision I don't regret, while TechTV influenced my descision to buy Breath of Fire 5:DQ, and while I liked the game, it was not worth 50 dollars.
E ae galera! não falo a lingua de vcs pois so do Brazil (Brasil), mas queria dizer qu o site de vcs é muito loko!!! 
Valew ae galera!!! Fui 
Valew ae galera!!! Fui
Yet another wonderful editorial. I look forward to the next one.
[COLOR=green] 
[FONT=Geneva] SIZE=7] Um yeah hi, kinda new around here but I'm still a long time rpg fan. Anywho I just wanted to say that I was somewhat confused when I read your editorial. I knew what you wee talking about and all but there was thing that I kept thinking when reading your editorial is "Whats your point? What are you getting at?" What does does Spielberg and his movies (which by the way are not flopping whatsoever and since when did Spielberg direct Jurassic Park?) have to do with cosplay at E3 or wherever you were at. No hard feelings, just didn't quite get the message there
[FONT=Geneva] SIZE=7] Um yeah hi, kinda new around here but I'm still a long time rpg fan. Anywho I just wanted to say that I was somewhat confused when I read your editorial. I knew what you wee talking about and all but there was thing that I kept thinking when reading your editorial is "Whats your point? What are you getting at?" What does does Spielberg and his movies (which by the way are not flopping whatsoever and since when did Spielberg direct Jurassic Park?) have to do with cosplay at E3 or wherever you were at. No hard feelings, just didn't quite get the message there
(to the three members above)
REGISTER
(to Faery)
Love your editorials.
REGISTER
(to Faery)
Love your editorials.
QUOTE (Demon Penguin Dude @ Jan 4 2004, 07:20 PM)
I just wanted to say that I was somewhat confused when I read your editorial. I knew what you wee talking about and all but there was thing that I kept thinking when reading your editorial is "Whats your point? What are you getting at?"
This kid read my mind... My other post seems to have dissapeared, but I'd like you to know Faery, that I share the same sentiment as this kid. I don't really understand what you're getting at with this article, all you've done is post something you've read.
Faery, you write great editorials, but this one seems to be a little..... forced. I will add my name to the little collection of people so far that agree that there is no point to this editorial. If there is one, it's a little too hard to understand. No hard feelings, just a little constructive criticism. Keep up the good work! 
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