Fight Uwe Boll
Games-to-film helmer to take on his critics in the ring.
by IGN FilmForce

June 14, 2006 - Perennial games-to-film helmer Uwe Boll is calling his critics to the mat! As IGN readers will surely know, Dr. Boll's films Alone in the Dark and House of the Dead were widely skewered by fans and critics alike. But in a recent press release, which we received from Boll himself (lest you doubt the authenticity of this report), he points out that the two movies cost $20 million and have grossed over $110 million thus far. On paper, that's a successful track record.

Similar negative reactions from the press and on the internet are now being directed at Uwe Boll's most recent film, BloodRayne, which recently arrived on DVD. And from the sound of things, Dr. Boll has had it! "I am fed up," he says. "I'm fed up with people slamming my films on the Internet without see them. Many journalists make value judgments on my films based on the opinions of one or two thousand Internet voices. Half of those opinions come from people who've never watched my films. I have been told that BloodRayne has a very bad IMDb rating but how many of those votes of zero were made before the movie appeared in theatres."

So, what's he gonna do about? Get this... The 5 most outspoken critics of Boll's work will be chosen to fly to Vacouver and the set of his forthcoming game-to-film adaptation of Postal. They'll be hooked with stand-in or extra roles in the movie and will... this just keeps getting better... have the opportunity to don boxing gloves and enter the ring where they'll square off with Boll in a 10 bout match! Scenes from the fights will make it into the film and they'll all be shown on the internet.

Interested? Here's the small print:

To be eligible only critics who have posted on the internet or who have written in magazines / newspapers at least two extremely negative articles in the year 2005 will be considered. Critics of 2006 will not be considered. Please submit proof of your negative reviews & comments via e-mail to: info@boll-kg.de.

All challengers must be healthy males, weighing between 140 lbs. and 190 lbs. You will require to be physically examined by a doctor and sign the necessary release forms for liability, etc. You will not be paid nor entitle to any residuals or fees. Your transportation & hotel costs will be paid.

The following posters to the IMDb have earned the right to be placed on the list of the most extreme anti-Boll critics and therefore eligible to enter the contest for being picked to be an extra/stand-in in Postal and physically box Dr. Uwe Boll.

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Adultswimlover2
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Greatnates
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GunnerySergeantNumbnuts
Murdoc995
AimeeBrookes
ChineseOldMarketMan
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Veedragon40
BigSexy77
TylerDurden52
Dan223-1
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You will surely not want to miss this, so keep checking back on IGN for more!

Uwe Boll Beats the Crap out of Journalist

Let the above video be a lesson to you, dear readers: When a man challenges his critics to a boxing match, it isn't because he's full of vitriol and hate (well, it might be), but it is more likely that said man (film director popcorn tosser Uwe Boll) has some training as a pugilist. That training came in handy in the above bout where Uwe Boll had his foe scampering away from him like Andy Kaufman fighting wrestlers in the early-80s.

Ziff Davis' own Seanbaby is trying to get into the ring with Boll and unlike the poor chap fleeing Boll in the ring, Seanbaby actually can box. Would Uwe Boll dare take on someone who could *gasp* fight back? Stay tuned.