So ve vent to zee zis movie today and vat ve saw horrified us beyond imagination. Among the clouds, in the first three minutes of the movie, M. Night Shamalyan's name flashed across the screen. It made me cry.

And then Zooey Deschanel looks the best of any movie she's been in. Okay. And she went out for ice cream with this guy who isn't her husband. She's such a ##### slut, gawd. Etc. Etc. Etc. So people randomly decided to kill themselves get disoriented blah blah blah you saw the ##### commercial. Everyone's a moron and can't figure out to cover their mouth/nose with some cloth to not breathe in the air, and they try to out run the wind.

Extra points for awesomness:

two teenagers get shot in the face
man gets run over by lawn mower
Zooey Deschanel goes out for ice cream
An old lady slams her head against a wall really hard
And Dante from Clerks crashes his car into a tree at ninety miles per hour (in case you missed the hidden ending of Clerks).

Anyway there's also some other things like, the whole thing spreads over NY and PA and NJ and further, and some random dude decides "It's not happening 90 miles from here!" though he fails to tell the direction so everyone rushes off. Hey, alright, that's cool but when you're "right in the middle of it" and the map shows that all of it is taking up the entire ##### north east, it's definitely still happening ninety miles for it.

Also that is not how lions tear people apart.



Wanna know the twist?
Highlight.
Plants evolved ze ability to kill as a self defense mechanism, which is ##### retarded as it ignores all basic principles of evolution, things can't spontaneously evolve ##### all of a sudden, it takes years upon years of natural selection, etc. and trees live for so long it's impossible.

Also:

Do you enjoy hot dogs?
They get a reall bad rap.
I mean, they taste good, they have a nice shape.

ACTUAL
DIALOGUE
FROM
THE
MOVIE

Everyone's evacuating New York! But Grand Central is having a slow day, and people leisurely enjoy coffee and donuts while... you know, everyone thinks there's a terrorist ##### attack. Having ice cream with a guy means you're a whore.

I saw a beautiful pharmacist.
And I decided to buy cough syrup. I asked her where it was.
I didn't need cough syrup,
I was about to buy a totally superfluous bottle of cough syrup.

ACTUAL
DIALOGUE
FROM
THE
MOVIE!

And the acting is as stiff as ever.

Go see it, it's a good laugh.

It's worth mentioning in the scene with the Indiana Jones Nuclear Testing House (you'll understand when you see it if you've seen Indy 4 already) there's a microphone very visible at the top of the shot. He plays a heartwarming character that truly makes a statement about life, love, and loyalty.

Overall:
10/10

Why they still let Night write films is beyond me. They should just have him direct from here on out. His " Twists " are all ridiculous as hell and expected by now. He needs to either find a new genre to write for, or just stick to directing.

I agree. I liked Signs because it was sudued and very suspenseful -- plus it had Mel Gibson, and he's one of my favorite actors on screen. The Village was #####. It was very subdued and suspenseful as well, but the ending was lame and childish. Lady in The Water came off the same way, but by the time it offered any surprise, you expected it to be un-#####-believeably corny.

He does need to change up his style -- it's not so fresh anymore.

Why...would they make this movie. I mean, Zooey Deschanel is hot as ef, but her acting is not that great. Mixed with a really stupid plot.....

I can't see this movie going anywhere. And from what you guys have said and what I've heard, it hasn't gone anywhere.

I liked Sixth Sense and Unbreakable but yeah I agree he should just direct but I think he fancies himself as a modern day Hitchcock so I can't see him stopping any time soon.

Maybe one day.. she will have to stoop to nude scenes.

And thank you Denim, you just saved me money.

Zooey Deschanel does comedy better. Hitchhikers Guide. Come on. Honestly.

The acting was terrible.
The plot was terrible.

It wins the unintentional comedy award.

The only reason it was worth the money, was because of it's humor.
And Dante Hicks being the car driver. Yes definitely.
But seriously guys, out running the wind?
This movie will make you laugh beyond all reason.

That part where he blew the kids head off was SO funny.

I can't even begin to describe how funny this movie is. If you need a good laugh, I suggest you look into seeing it just for that reason.