This is Simple Poetry haha. Its been a while since I wrote. So yeah. Don't laugh.

The Rain, The Car and The Boy

When the bright sun dies,
And the dark sky cries.
Where do I want to be,
What do I want to see.

As the time pass by,
I ask myself why.
Roaming on the streets,
As rain hits my feet.

Watching the reflection
Of my pathetic face.
Pompous, Vain, Disgrace.
Hearing the echoes
Of my unpleasant voice.
Secrets, Guilt and Lies.

Losing Focus,
I walked out of path.
Beeping Horn,
In comes a car.
Not yet freed,
Have I left the night.
Last thing I saw,
Was a blazing Light.

"18 year old boy
Rammed by car,
How Pitiful, how pitiful.
Suicide attempt failed
And he survived.
How Sorrowful, how sorrowful."


---------------------------------------


The boy didn't comment suicide by the way. In fact he wants to live on to be free from his old self.

And yes. As you can see. In the end, How sorrowful how sorrowful.

Enjoy and hope to hear comments and hope you like it Lol.

I liked it (though I seem to like all of your stuff regardless of what other people have said for critique before/after, so take it with a grain of salt. xD.). Though, you do choose your words effectively, even if there are just one or two of them in a line. As you know with my poetry, I usually end up describing things as I would in a book (long descriptive lines), but you can just say a few words and convey the same meaning.

I don't have too much else to say. It's a nice poem (though I still like the one about the wolf best). Keep it up! =).