A Blond, red head, and a brunette escaped from prison. In order to get to free land, they have to jump from a cliff and swim across a lake. The red head jumps in, swims one quarter of the way and drowns. The brunette jumps in, swims half of the way and drowns. The Blond jumps in, swims three quarters of the way, gets tired, and swims back.

I'm suing you for inciting hate crimes against blondes.

Lol. Hate crimes? You don't find blond jokes to be funny? I have nothing against blonds myself, I just think there are some funny blond jokes out there that I wouldn't mind to laugh at.

Q: A black guy and his black girlfriend are in a car. Who's driving?
A: The cop!

Oh, blond jokes? No I don't have any of those.

Hiku, you suck. =p

It is funny that the first two people that respond in this topic are Swedes. *Inserts stereotypical comment about Swedes being blonds*

U know what? Black Jokes are amusing too. I'm not racist at all. Heck, most of the black jokes I know I learned from my back friend Buba. Screw blond jokes. Throw out any jokes that you know!



This one isn't very funny. But I thought it was.

A Canadian trucker was driving down the road, heading for the boarder to the US. He was hauling a load of black bowling balls. He saw a black man walking the same direction he was driving. He pulled over in front of the man and asked where he was going. The black man replied, saying he was heading to the states. The driver thought he would help him and give him a lift. The man went to get into the front seat and the driver stopped him saying, sorry, company policy, gotta get into the back. After the doors were shut, the trucker started down the road again. About two miles later, he pulled over in front of a black man riding a bike. He found that the man was heading to the US as well and a few seconds later the man and his bike were loaded in the back with the other black man and the bowling balls. When he got to the boarder a Boarder Policeman stopped them and told him that he needed to check what he was hauling. The driver got out and opened the back for inspection. The Policeman abruptly slammed the doors shut and told the driver to drive as fast as he could away from Canada. The driver jumped into the truck and sped off. When one of the other Policemen asked him what was the matter, the Man replied. "There were a bunch of ##### bombs in the back. Two of them hatched and one already stole a bike!"

What do you tell a blond with two black eyes?

Nothing, she's already been told twice.

What do you get when you stuff 5 blonds in a freezer?

Frosted Flakes.

Millions of quick ones like these..

A blonde woman goes to the barberer, she's wearing a headphone. When the barberer asks her to remove it, the blonde goes all hysteric, 'No,no, don't remove the headphones!' she yells. The barberer starts doing his jon, but as he suspected the headphones get in the way, he once again requests the woman to remove the headphones. But no, the headphones shouldn't be removed under any condition.

The barberer gets tired of it, when the blonde least expects it, he pulls the headphone of her head. A few seconds later, the blonde drops dead. Shocked about what happened the barberer panics, he calls 911 and within moments the police arrives. One of the officers on the case notices the headphones still being on and picks it up, puts it on and listens;

Breathe in, breathe out.

It's funnier when told in irl ._.

You know how a brown haired girl get laid!

she color her hair blond!

The milestone of being blond?

Looking through a keyhole of a glass door.


How to make a blond woman go mental.

Tell her that her make-up box is in the corner of a round room.

Two Blondes walk into a bar.
Think one of them would have seen it?

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are watching TV. The news is on, depicting a man on a bridge about to jump off to commit suicide. The police are out in force, and all three are glued to the action.

"I bet he'll jump." says the redhead.

"Really? Fifty bucks says he doesn't." says the blonde.

"You're on!" replies the redhead.

The brunette collects the money and they continue watching. Sure enough, the man jumps, dying instantly as he hits the water.

"Jeez, this was on the morning news, but I thought he'd change his mind this time!" complains the blonde.

How can you tell if a blonde is having a bad day? She's got a tampon behind her ear, and she can't find her pencil.

how do you make a blond drown herself?

Put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of a pool.

How is a blonde like the Bermuda Triangle?

(Highlight) They swallow a lot of seamen.


Ewww.

A blonde, a brunette, a redhead, a priest, a rabbi, an imam, Satan, God, and a horse walk into a bar.

The bartender wipes his forehead and says,

"What is this, a goddamn joke?"

How do you confuse a blonde?
Highlight
Tell her to piss in a white room

How does a blonde confuse you?
Highlight
She says she already did

How do you kill a blonde:

Highlight: Put spikes in her shoulder pads and ask her a question

How do you drown a blonde:

Highlight: Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

most of these are old.

Ferrell, I don't understand the first one at all, mind explaining?

not sure if this was sarcastic, but if it wasn't then:

if she had spikes on her shoulders and you asked her a question, she would shrug her shoulders.

Ah, that joke sucks.

hey im blond that is so mean

We are easy targets for jokes, it seems.

Actually, AJ got it kinda right, but sooo wrong at the same time.

The joke is that if a blonde doesn't know an answer, she "would" shake her head violently hitting her shoulders.

It's an OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD one I got from a website years ago.

And also, I'm blonde too

Not necessarily a blond joke, but a joke nonetheless. It is a long one, but it is one I find funny.

There is this forest with a lake in the middle.
In the lake swims a tiny fish.
Above the lake swims a fly and the fish spotted it.
The fish thinks: "If the fly flies a little bit lower, I'll catch the fly."
At the side of the lake sits a grey heron. The grey heron thinks: "If the fly flies a bit lower and the fish catches the fly, I'll catch the fish."
Behind the grey heron, somewhere in the bushes lurks a fox. The fox thinks: "If the fly flies a little bit lower, the fish will catch the fly, the grey heron will catch the fish and I will catch the grey heron.
Behind a tree is a bear and the bear thinks: "If the fly flies a little bit lower, the fish will catch the fly, the grey heron will catch the fish, the fox will catch the grey heron and I will catch the fox."
To the left of the bear, in the bushes, lies a hunter. The hunter thinks: "If the fly flies lower, the fish will catch the fly, the grey heron will catch the fish, the fox will catch the grey heron, the bear will catch the fox and I will shoot bear."
Between the grass, near the hunter is a tiny mouse and the mouse thinks: "If the fly flies lower, the fish will catch the fly, the grey heron will catch the fish, the fox will catch the grey heron, the bear will catch the fox, the hunter will shoot the bear and I will quickly steal the cheese of the hunter's sandwich."
Behind the mouse, in between the bushes is a cat and the cat thinks: "If the fly flies a little bit lower, the fish will catch the fly, the grey heron will catch the fish, the fox will catch the grey heron, the bear will catch the fox, the hunter will shoot the bear, the mouse will steal the cheese of the hunter's sandwich and I will catch the mouse."

Well, the fly is happily buzzing around and it decides to fly closer towards the water and so it happens.
The fish catches the fly, the grey heron catches the fish, the fox jumps out from the bushes and catches the grey heron, the bear jumps from behind the tree and catches the fox, the hunter aims and shoots the bear, the mouse runs up and steals the cheese and the cat.... the cat jumps, but totally miscalculated his jump and lands in the lake.

So, what is the moral of this story?

Highlight: The longer the foreplay, the wetter the pussy